My life just keeps getting worse and I should just die. I’m a waste of space and resources. Nothing changes and nothing gets better. There really isn’t a reason not to kill myself. I don’t need to live for my parents, they’re to busy fighting with each other to realize I still exist and I have feelings. I have friends that just keep telling me it will get better but it’s not. All I’ve learned in therapy is to pretend that I’m handling everything and that I’m “getting better” when I’m just getting better at hiding it. There really is nothing to live for. I should just OD. I have enough meds to kill myself.  All I do is care about other people and want to help them and who’s coming to help me? The only time people come running is when I’m done and can’t take living anymore and I’m going to try to kill myself. That’s the only time I’m important enough and I guarantee it’s to make them look like they tried and that they were always there for me. But they forget that I’m the one that still has to go back to the same living situation. They don’t join me or take me out of it they just leave me in the same conditions I was in before.